Adopted from other blog(http://faroff715.blogspot.com/2010/07/blog-post_24.html), find it truly meaningful, share with you:
寂寞的力量
Posted by len at 6:07 PM
鲁安会跟我说他寂寞。
三岁半就寂寞，有什么奇怪呢?
能说出来也不奇怪，
因为当他那个感觉升起的时候，我做了介绍,
this is loneliness.
认识寂寞的感觉。
空空的，
好像肚子饿。
你要认得，能辨识，便不会跑去开冰箱，吃很多巧克力和冰淇淋，
吃很多很多，吃到生病。
空空的，
好像想念朋友，
你要认得，能辨识，便不会跑去打电话胡乱约人外出讲闲话。
你并没有想念谁，你只是要填满一个洞，丢许多人进去，填满一个洞。
空空的，好像需要什么，好像需要被什么人需要，
好像应该要抓住一点东西，
好像应该做些什么，让这个感觉消失。
我们很多人，连口渴和饥饿都分不清，
以为自己饿了，其实只是身体有一些些脱水，喝点水就舒服了，
却去吃。
没有人教我们认识自己的感觉。
寂寞了哭闹了，就去填那个洞，只求你不哭不闹，
给你给你给你，给你吃的喝的玩的，
但是没有告诉你这个感觉叫什么名字，
它会来，它也会走，
不必特别去做什么。
当我们静静处在寂寞当中，
我们将充满力量，创作的力量，思考的力量。
我没有跟鲁安讲那么多。
我只是允许他寂寞。
2010年7月28日星期三
Locus of Control (LOC) Personality Test. Have a try!
Locus of Control Test Results |
| Internal Locus (56%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive. External Locus (44%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors. |
personality tests by similarminds.com
In the 60s Psychologist Julian Rotter developed a theory called Locus of Control of Reinforcement. His theory centered around whether someone thinks their life is more influenced by external factors like fate, genetics, luck, environment (external locus of control) OR by internal factors like effort, tenacity, and free will (internal locus of control).
This results suggest I tend to believe that internal factors like drive and free will define me more than external factors like genetics, fate, luck, and environment.
Thus, I have an Internal Locus of Control
In order to make your test more accurate, also try the same test on different website and compare the score http://www.psych.uncc.edu/pagoolka/LocusofControl-intro.html
2010年7月22日星期四
花開。花謝
一朵開了接近三個月的花終於凋謝了。
之前，花凋謝了總是那麼的不捨難過，為何這一次卻可以格外的那麼平靜？！平靜得自己也難以思議。自己細心地觀察，原來花未凋謝前，已知道花有凋謝的一天。這麼的心理或想法，無形的讓自己能夠接受花真的凋謝的那一刻。之前會難過不捨是因為從來就沒這樣的設想（非假設），總以為花會理所當然的燦爛開著的。到花真的凋謝了，就不能接受了。
也許會有人說，這樣不是很悲觀嗎？難到樂觀的話，花就不會因此而凋謝嗎？因此，不管悲觀或樂觀都是有問題的，有時看起來有效，也只是偶爾或暫時而已，根本問題還存在的。那要怎麼看待呢？這應該是以實觀去看待，如實的實。事情怎樣的就怎樣去看待，不多也不少，還它一個本來的面目。花，以悲觀去看待的話，就會以為花不管開不開花都是枯萎凋謝的，不用太在意的啦！以樂觀的話，花會一直開得好燦爛的哦！這兩種都是兩極的看法，都會出問題的。花開時就好好的欣賞，花要凋謝了，心里也清楚明白的花開花謝是很自然，本來就如此的，坦然接受，花不凋謝，怎麼再長出下個燦然的花朵呢？！花開花謝，是可以這麼平靜看待的，是可以更加珍惜花。
之前，花凋謝了總是那麼的不捨難過，為何這一次卻可以格外的那麼平靜？！平靜得自己也難以思議。自己細心地觀察，原來花未凋謝前，已知道花有凋謝的一天。這麼的心理或想法，無形的讓自己能夠接受花真的凋謝的那一刻。之前會難過不捨是因為從來就沒這樣的設想（非假設），總以為花會理所當然的燦爛開著的。到花真的凋謝了，就不能接受了。
也許會有人說，這樣不是很悲觀嗎？難到樂觀的話，花就不會因此而凋謝嗎？因此，不管悲觀或樂觀都是有問題的，有時看起來有效，也只是偶爾或暫時而已，根本問題還存在的。那要怎麼看待呢？這應該是以實觀去看待，如實的實。事情怎樣的就怎樣去看待，不多也不少，還它一個本來的面目。花，以悲觀去看待的話，就會以為花不管開不開花都是枯萎凋謝的，不用太在意的啦！以樂觀的話，花會一直開得好燦爛的哦！這兩種都是兩極的看法，都會出問題的。花開時就好好的欣賞，花要凋謝了，心里也清楚明白的花開花謝是很自然，本來就如此的，坦然接受，花不凋謝，怎麼再長出下個燦然的花朵呢？！花開花謝，是可以這麼平靜看待的，是可以更加珍惜花。
2010年7月19日星期一
Three Surprising Facts About Happiness
Three Surprising Facts About Happiness
Christy Matta, M.A.
If you're stuck in a bad mood, anxious and ruminating or simply feel that your emotions are beyond your control, these 3 surprising facts might give you one or two strategies to try to alter some of those negative feelings and keep positive feelings around.
1. Happiness is Contagious. Like a cold, happiness can be caught from the people around you. According to a 2008 study in the British Medical Journal, people who were surrounded by many happy people were more likely to become happy in the future. In fact, happiness extended as much as 3 degrees of separation. If you want to improve your own mood, look at the network of people you surround yourself with. It may be in your own best interest to seek out those friends and acquaintances who are happy.
2. Smiling actually does make you feel happy. Nothing is more annoying than the stranger that tells you to "smile." They might be well meaning, but when you're stressed, sad or anxious, often the last thing you feel like doing is smiling. However, a 1998 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that facial expressions do effect mood. Participants in the study who matched positive facial expressions had a corresponding positive change in mood. Pay attention to the expression on your face. If you're feeling tense or sad, allow yourself a relaxed smile now and then. Try a half smile. Ease the muscles of the face and slightly turn up the corners of the mouth and see if, with some time, your mood improves.
3. Emotions last only a few seconds. If you've ever been stuck in a bad mood for days on end, this might sound unlikely. But the reality is that each emotion we experience lasts only a few seconds. A bad mood that goes on for days is the result of the same emotions being triggered over and over. The most likely trigger: our thoughts. So pay attention to what you're thinking if you're continually anxious and on edge or are stuck in sadness or anger. Are you re-triggering the emotion by continually thinking about what originally made you anxious, sad or angry?
Emotions are complex and full of surprising. The more you understand about how your emotions function, the better you will be at getting out of the negatives and catching those happy vibes.
Christy Matta, M.A.
If you're stuck in a bad mood, anxious and ruminating or simply feel that your emotions are beyond your control, these 3 surprising facts might give you one or two strategies to try to alter some of those negative feelings and keep positive feelings around.
1. Happiness is Contagious. Like a cold, happiness can be caught from the people around you. According to a 2008 study in the British Medical Journal, people who were surrounded by many happy people were more likely to become happy in the future. In fact, happiness extended as much as 3 degrees of separation. If you want to improve your own mood, look at the network of people you surround yourself with. It may be in your own best interest to seek out those friends and acquaintances who are happy.
2. Smiling actually does make you feel happy. Nothing is more annoying than the stranger that tells you to "smile." They might be well meaning, but when you're stressed, sad or anxious, often the last thing you feel like doing is smiling. However, a 1998 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that facial expressions do effect mood. Participants in the study who matched positive facial expressions had a corresponding positive change in mood. Pay attention to the expression on your face. If you're feeling tense or sad, allow yourself a relaxed smile now and then. Try a half smile. Ease the muscles of the face and slightly turn up the corners of the mouth and see if, with some time, your mood improves.
3. Emotions last only a few seconds. If you've ever been stuck in a bad mood for days on end, this might sound unlikely. But the reality is that each emotion we experience lasts only a few seconds. A bad mood that goes on for days is the result of the same emotions being triggered over and over. The most likely trigger: our thoughts. So pay attention to what you're thinking if you're continually anxious and on edge or are stuck in sadness or anger. Are you re-triggering the emotion by continually thinking about what originally made you anxious, sad or angry?
Emotions are complex and full of surprising. The more you understand about how your emotions function, the better you will be at getting out of the negatives and catching those happy vibes.
2010年7月12日星期一
自己可以很快樂，自己可以作得了主的
我們可以心里培育慈愛而之所以能夠去關愛他人，而非得需要他人給予愛才覺得擁有愛；
我們生活是爲了自己並非他人，做自己而才能照顧好他人，一味的為他人而活終究失去自己，他人又怎會從我們身上得到快樂；
為自己而活并不代表自私，照顧好自己的身心，才有健全的身心去服務別人；
對人好不是因為圖得到什麽，而是因為我想成為這樣的人，擁有對人好的品格而已，那還介意什麽別人會不領我的好意還是糟蹋這翻好意；
快樂是源之於內心，並非在外在的人事物里。將內心的快樂發掘出來。令自己與他人都因此而亮起來吧！
我們生活是爲了自己並非他人，做自己而才能照顧好他人，一味的為他人而活終究失去自己，他人又怎會從我們身上得到快樂；
為自己而活并不代表自私，照顧好自己的身心，才有健全的身心去服務別人；
對人好不是因為圖得到什麽，而是因為我想成為這樣的人，擁有對人好的品格而已，那還介意什麽別人會不領我的好意還是糟蹋這翻好意；
快樂是源之於內心，並非在外在的人事物里。將內心的快樂發掘出來。令自己與他人都因此而亮起來吧！
2010年7月11日星期日
轉化，成長，前進
在最艱難的時刻，你發現沒有什麽能夠幫得了你的時候，那是多么痛苦？！很多人因此而走向偏差，甚至絕路。那我呢？我不得不再次感恩值遇佛法。在痛苦煎熬中，佛法幫助我度過了這艱辛的時刻。同時亦更肯定最可靠的，最究竟的皈依處唯有三寶-佛法僧。這不是說說而已，真的要在經歷中體會的。
傷害、鬧亂過我的眾生，雖不能說沒有傷感，卻有佛法的引導，使到我有能力轉化這些煩惱，把嗔恨轉化成慈悲，把煩惱惑亂轉化成平靜；甚至對傷害我的眾生產生悲憫心，試問眾生皆因煩惱無明才會作出傷害人的種種，如果自己有能力調伏煩惱都沒什麼的，可見最可悲的是還在煩惱中卻不得出路的眾生。如此的話，還有什麽好怨恨此類眾生呢？！
反而，還得感恩傷害過我的眾生，讓我對於佛法體會更加深，更能夠對於佛所說的法信心更堅定，對於弘法利益眾生的信心更堅定。這不是所謂的逆增上緣嗎？！很多人都害怕逆境，從是以為唯有順境才能提升。看回所有歷代祖師大德沒有一位不是從逆境中走過而成就的。在印順導師及聖嚴師父的法相前拜下時，內心是多么的感觸，兩位長老無不是一生在許多逆境中走過而成為人天敬仰的人天模範。感恩有這機會遇到逆境，感恩三寶的加被！
傷害、鬧亂過我的眾生，雖不能說沒有傷感，卻有佛法的引導，使到我有能力轉化這些煩惱，把嗔恨轉化成慈悲，把煩惱惑亂轉化成平靜；甚至對傷害我的眾生產生悲憫心，試問眾生皆因煩惱無明才會作出傷害人的種種，如果自己有能力調伏煩惱都沒什麼的，可見最可悲的是還在煩惱中卻不得出路的眾生。如此的話，還有什麽好怨恨此類眾生呢？！
反而，還得感恩傷害過我的眾生，讓我對於佛法體會更加深，更能夠對於佛所說的法信心更堅定，對於弘法利益眾生的信心更堅定。這不是所謂的逆增上緣嗎？！很多人都害怕逆境，從是以為唯有順境才能提升。看回所有歷代祖師大德沒有一位不是從逆境中走過而成就的。在印順導師及聖嚴師父的法相前拜下時，內心是多么的感觸，兩位長老無不是一生在許多逆境中走過而成為人天敬仰的人天模範。感恩有這機會遇到逆境，感恩三寶的加被！
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